Apparently you make a good broom.
I think my fart just growled at me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
