im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize