dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
