Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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