I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
