im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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