I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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