it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
