Can Purell be used as lube?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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