They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
