In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize