This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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