my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
