Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
