Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
