what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
