My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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