the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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