Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize