Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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