In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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