if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
