I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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