Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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