i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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