whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
