You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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