you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
