Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
