erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
