my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
