Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Randomize
