apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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