He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
