talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize