i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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