May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
