And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
