shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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