I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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