I think I am morally bankrupt
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
