If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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