Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
