Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
