I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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