Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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