Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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