she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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