My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
