nut hugger
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
