he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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