we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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