Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
