Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We left an ass print on the piano.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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