Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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