And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
