it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just want nice things and good sex
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
