I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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