sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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