woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
