Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think people are normalizing furries
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
