He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
pray to the hookup gods
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
