I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
