I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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