I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
