You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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